mac n cheese

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Posts by mac n cheese

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  33

  I can't believe how many people are leaving now...

  by mac n cheese in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  (sorry if this is a double post - i haven't been on in awhile).

  so spouse and i are completely inactive.

  it's great!

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  mac n cheese

  Wasanelder Once - well said, we're walking on eggshells with these people for sure, but as time moves on and we get more and more secure with our stand, we look over our shoulders less often. And yes - GREAT to be OUT!

  StAnn - I know how you feel - but I will say that it's surprising WHO is leaving - these are long-time elders, pioneers, born ins, etc. Nearly all of them have mentioned how legalistic the WT Society is and how it's changed so much. You just never know, I just keep getting surprised each time.

  laverite - So far, it's been about 12-15 people that have left since we've left (in the last two years) that have approached us, and there are more that have just moved away and never gone to another meeting. I know this because later, they add me on Facebook and they are having the times of their lives -with no mention of "theocratic activity".

  I'm just glad that my in-laws still treat us well. If anything, our relationship is better because we're much happier, and they can tell. But of course, we would NEVER actually DISCUSS it, hahahaha.

  As always, I'm grateful to the good people of JWN, I've put into practice many of your good ideas.

  Mac n Cheese
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  33

  I can't believe how many people are leaving now...

  by mac n cheese in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  (sorry if this is a double post - i haven't been on in awhile).

  so spouse and i are completely inactive.

  it's great!

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  mac n cheese

  (sorry if this is a double post - I haven't been on in awhile)

  So spouse and I are completely inactive. It's GREAT! We are finally doing what WE want to do - brunch on the weekends, going away camping and traveling all kinds of places. Spouse will probably never get over birthdays or Christmas, which I'd really like to do, but I'm just glad we both agree life is much better away from that group.

  It's strange, but now, a ton of people that we all figured would NEVER leave are starting to fade, and they are slowly making their way around to us, and very carefully feeling us out to see if they can trust us. Just like we did when we were "in", we listen, we give them pros/cons of decisions, but just because we're paranoid, we never say anything against the WT Society. This even-handed manner of ours seems to give people the push they need, so that they can move on with their lives, away from the "Truth". It's odd to be in this position now that we're out, since we were always in this position while we were "in." Still, it's nice to see really smart, cool people that we love come to their senses.

  It's always people that I thought were staying forever, and yeah, so far, they have all been people who were born in/raised in it, just like us.

  Mac n Cheese
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  10

  "Nook", from Barnes and Noble

  by changeling in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my husband ordered a "nook" for me as a gift.

  i cancelled the order.

  i like the feel of a book in my hands and my ever growing library.

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  mac n cheese

  I was SURE I didn't want one of these things. I love the feel of books. I received a Kindle as a present last year and after about reading for 2 minutes, you completely forget it's an e-reader. I read a lot, the only downside is that it's not as easy to share a book with someone. Amazon.com/Kindle lets you share content with up to 6 Kindles, but you all have to be on the same account.

  You might want to re-consider.

  Mac n Cheese
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  61

  How do you feel about street people asking you for money

  by I quit! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  about half of the freeway exits i get off at have someone there begging.

  in the past i felt they were only hitting me up for money to by drugs or booze so i rarely handed them any.

  in this economy i'm wondering if some of them aren't really in need of something to eat.

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  mac n cheese

  That happened to me this morning. I offered to buy them food at the corner liquor store. As we walked in, I was informed that they needed cigarettes too. I said, "no, only food. It's my money." The liquor store only took Cash or ATM and I only had a credit card, so they ended up with nothing. Boy, was the street person PISSED! Started complaining that I should carry more than credit.

  I walked off in disgust, usually people are more than happy to take purchased food. But I did look over my shoulder all the way to my destination.

  Mac n cheese
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  23

  JW's on Facebook seem like happy people

  by Smoky in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just recently got a facebook page and started to look up some old jw friends (im a long time fader).

  i see there pictures and comments and feel kinda jealous that they all look happy (im in a rough stage in my life).

  i never was happy as a jw, and since i faded i am more comfortable in my own skin....the future looks bright for me.

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  mac n cheese

  Hi Smoky,

  I've been wondering about this myself lately. Both my husband and I have lost our jobs, which if it would have happened while we were pioneering and back in, I think I would have been more frustrated, because of expecting god to reward me because I was doing everything right.

  Stupid, I know. But I was just swallowing what my parents told us.

  For us (both born-in), it was a matter of "ok, got the WT prep done? Check. Get 50 hours by the 15th? Check. Schedule all those talks? Check." We were so busy with congregational activities and trying to cram in some space for ourselves to feel normal that it's really hard to say. I think I was happy in that I was getting a lot done. Now, being inactive neither of us can imagine sitting through those boring meetings again. We were bored when we were super busy and doing parts, talks, etc. Now we're super busy with life, and it feels very natural. Performing for the JW group, it just was exhausting.

  Remember that for the average JW, they are always thinking about what others think of THEM. I can't imagine that if they're identifying themselves as a JW on FB that they feel comfortable really being themselves. I know several people who have multiple FB pages for just that purpose.

  Hang in there,

  Mac n Cheese
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  7

  Time, Why Do You Punish Me?

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  (hopefully, this will be on freeminds soon).

  so what do you want to write about today?

  do you have some time?.

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  mac n cheese

  ATJ,

  As I sit here listening to my husband peacefully sleeping in this Sunday morning, I am in complete agreement with you. Like others here on this board, we spent so many years on the wheel, our "spiritual activities" dictating what WOULD be done, no matter what, while we tried to cram other interesting things into our life.

  I did not realize how stressed out we were until we got off the WT wheel. Even though right now things are falling apart with our job situation, it's so much easier to deal with when we can concentrate on how to fix it, instead of filling our time with busy work. We are also able to really ask ourselves what WE want out of life. Well, I can do so, it's taking my husband a lot longer to disengage from the cult thinking. He still believes most of it, so he's probably going to drag this out for a long time. Your comment about being honest with yourself - that's the part I embraced, so I'm out and not going back. I think my husband is too afraid to do that right now. Oh well, it's his process. At least he has no interesting in going back at all.

  Happy Sunday, as always, I really enjoy your posts.

  Mac n Cheese
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  50

  Witnesses "Policing" People...Is It True?

  by CrimsonBleu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my sister told me once she likes to "police" people, that it was sort of a game she liked to play.

  she is true to her word, she does just that.

  always seeking the negative, rarely acknowledging positive...anything.. is this common among witnesses?

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  mac n cheese

  I was so glad to see my Grandpa pull up and give me a ride from school, especially since I used to live really far away from him. He smoked like a chimney (a pipe), and he then dropped me off at the Kingdom Hall so that I could go out in service. I was so excited by his surprise visit that I actually cancelled on my partner so that I could spend more time with him that evening. I remember the group staring after me in amazement, since I never cancelled on people.

  Imagine my surprise when at the next meeting, 2 elders asked to speak with me about "a very important issue". They wanted to know if I had been smoking clove cigarettes, or using incense. I started laughing and said, "What? Why? That's insane." They were dead serious. I think they only reason they finally told me what the circumstances were for the accusation was because I was a goody two-shoes high school pioneer. After that I explained that it was my worldly grandfather, I asked them why they'd believe the ignorant accusation when my character should have given the answer alone. They said that it as long as it was a serious accusation, they had to investigate it. When I said that not everyone who is accused is guilty, they said, "You're being too influenced by worldly 'justice'. You have to prove your innocence."

  Seriously?
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  19

  Did you participate in STREET WITNESSING in your area? What was it like?

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here in southern california, the witnesses still do streetwork.

  i did it since i was a kid.

  i used to spend two hours every saturday morning from 7 to 9 am walking down the street near my house with my brother or sister.

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  mac n cheese

  In our area we used to set up tables outside of Costco, at the airport, and at WalMart. I liked it - I could talk to anyone and it was E-A-S-Y time. Of course, they turned it into a "have to be approved" to do it. Pretty unproductive though, like everything else JW - designed to show off how dedicated you were.

  (off topic)

  to zombiedub - I really like reading WTWizard's posts, but I confess, once I see more than two substituted vocabulary words, I just stop reading. At first, i was looking for a translator/cheat sheet and then, being my lazy self, I just gave up. But I figured that was my fault. So I've only been able to wade throug a few of some really great posts from WT Wizard.

  WT Wizard - would really love to read your posts but I need a list of terms you use and their definitions so I know what you're talking about.

  Mac
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  19

  Did you participate in STREET WITNESSING in your area? What was it like?

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here in southern california, the witnesses still do streetwork.

  i did it since i was a kid.

  i used to spend two hours every saturday morning from 7 to 9 am walking down the street near my house with my brother or sister.

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  mac n cheese

  BonaFide - you just described my Saturday mornings (and other mid-week ones) EXACTLY. It's making me tired just thinking about it. I can't believe we did that for years and years and years. Sheesh.
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  9

  At the hospital today I apologized to a disassociated sister

  by BonaFide in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  got back from the hospital awhile ago.

  an older brother i know is very ill. in his 60's.

  one of his family members is a girl in her 20's.

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  mac n cheese

  Wow, this sounds like...the way a true "Christian" would behave. If the elders who dragged us to Hades and back were even a BIT considerate, say, actually followed a Bible principle, or even apologized at all for the lies and abuse they heaved at us, we probably would have stayed in.

  I'm glad they didn't, because the cruelty woke us up.

  I'm very impressed BonaFide. If I ever am in a position to do so, I will apologize to people I judged, following your example.